Citywide Umbrella-Sharing Policy

unless you've been cloaked in a personal, rubberized forcefield for the last several days (do tell), you've undoubtedly noticed the weather lately: rain, man. lots of it.

the following thot-drafts [sic] have been occupying otherwise usable space in my mind for some time and, since there's no mental "flush" option, i naturally turn to the world wide web. besides, this blog is designed to single-handledly address a current, gaping hole in the blogosphere -- that of the first-person narrative. and so this simple anthem:

share your umbrella.

given my proclivity to be ill-prepared for everything, it should come as no surprise that weather is not an exception. while i look into my situation and make plans to improve it, one cannot help but dream.

but let's start with a reality. the other day i happened, through no fault of my own and probably recycled luck, to have an umbrella with me during one of those unmistakable bouts of New York tropic downpour. i stood at a crosswalk, eying my compatriots: prepared little jerks. but one particular girl, my age-ish, stood unprotected -- and less than two feet from me.

with one carefully timed bop, under my umbrella she was.

metaphors abound; pop songs clamor. IGNORE THEM. what i am speaking to is a fundamental shift in citywide consciousness: share your umbrellas, folks. simply that.

potential governances:

- no one must share an umbrella; it is a privilege and a right

- the umbrella-less party may politely decline any umbrella-sharing offer
- the umbrella-less party may cutely instigate umbrella sharing; the umbrella holder may decline said instigation (but should recognize that, in doing so, he or she risks the loss of unfathomable sums of karmic points)
- it is ultimately the umbrella holder's choice as to how far/long umbrella sharing commences

- the umbrella-less party may evacuate any umbrella, at any moment

- the umbrella holder may likewise desist, but should do so via geographical circumstances

- geographical circumstances shall always be determined by the umbrella holder

my goodness. we don't need personal, rubberized forcefields; we need umbrellas. or maybe just the opportunity to stand close to a stranger, and share.

good morning, blogosphere.